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Zombie Rp Story Redo o.o..

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Zombie Rp Story Redo o.o..

Post  Thunder on Mon Sep 24, 2012 6:35 pm

Yeah so i feel like expanding my zombie story but its locked...and so imma just make a new one here '-'..and ill edit some of the parts out because some ppl were complaining about it...

Chapter I: The Adventure Begins

PERCY


It was a cold and dark evening, there was a full moon and I was just sitting on my couch watching T.V and suddenly the power went out..."What happened!" I exclaimed as all my electric appliances went off in a instant. I came outside to see if everyone had their power out to see if it was a power outage and I was right, I saw people scared half to death without no light in the middle of the night. I went back to my house and grabbed a flashlight and went to my neighbor's house Maya...I knocked on door and she opened the door opened a door with a pan and almost hit me with it and I leaped back on the solid ground and said "What the hell was that for?!" "Oh Percy, I'm so sorry, I thought you were some type of intruder." "Whatever...but can I come inside?" "Sure..." So I went inside of Maya's house and I saw that she already had candles around her house. I said "Ugh...can there be a power outage anytime besides in the middle of the night?" Maya responded "I know right...I just wanna watch some more T.V " I chuckled "I guess we both wanna watch T.V..." She laughed too. "Yeah, we both do" I then heard a strange noise coming back from the backyard... Maya said "What was that...?" I responded "I don't know...but I'm going to find out..." I grabbed a kitchen knife and went to her backyard and what I saw....well what I saw was one of the most hideous revolting creature I've ever saw...It looked like a human and had ugly teeth and rags for clothes and I can see some of his bones and his eyes...His eyes was bloody red... "Oh god..." It made some gibberish noise. I ran towards it and stabbed it's head with my knife...but It was still moving... I kept stabbing it more and more but It still won't die. He than roared and scratched me and I fell back. It pounced on me..."Flesh..." It growled and tried to bite but before he could do that I kicked him off of me and I threw my knife right at his forehead and he didn't move... I said "What the hell is going on...."

Maya then came and she was surprised. "Wow...I have a zombie in my backyard.." "Ok, we don't know if it's a Zombie or not but whatever it is didn't seem friendly." I saw her grinning "Percy, you could've called me for help, I don't want you being my hero,you know I'm an adventurous girl. I smiled "You got that right". We both went inside and I said "Lets call the police" Maya replied "Sure...but they better not mess up my backyard" I laughed to myself. I went to my pocket and I just remembered...I left my phone in my house "Damnit..." "Looks like you gotta get your phone" Then my other neighbor Mezashi came and asked "What was all the noise about?" Maya said "Ah Mezashi, good to see you safe." "Safe from what?..." I said "Well...believe it or not...but I just saw a hideous creature a few minutes ago and killed it so...yeah." Mezashi raised an eyebrow at me "You guys pranking me?" I responded "No we are not just look outside..." He came outside and he saw the dead corpse "What the hell, man you guys aren't lying..." We came back inside and I told them "I'm gonna go get my phone in my house, Mezashi protect Maya okay?" He responed "Yeah okay" I asked Maya "Hey you still have those guns you kept for emergencies Maya? "Yeah I do..." "Where is it?" "Upstairs in my closet..." I ran upstairs and grabbed three guns and some ammo and tossed Mezashi and Maya one. "Just in case another zombie comes you'll be armed." "Okay Percy...just be careful" Mezashi said "Yeah I will" Maya said "Don't screw up" and she winked. "Like I've ever screwed up?" Maya and Mezashi laughed and I said "Ugh...you guys are complicated." And I went outside and to my house...

I went to my house and went upstairs to my room in a flash to hurry back to Mezashi and Maya but when I came back downstairs...I saw another zombie. This time it was female and I don't even think it had any eyes and its clothes were bloody..."Uh woo ah la" It said in this weird voice... I grabbed my gun and aimed for the head and BOOM! I shot right into it's eye socket and I said "Fail shot..". I shot it again and this time in its chest and it still wouldn't die. I grabbed my knife and shot the limbs of the body and she fell. I then stabbed her at the neck and went up behind her and shot her at the back of the head. I then heard noise coming from Maya's house that. "Oh no!" I grabbed my phone quickly I dashed to Maya's house and I saw Mezashi and Maya fighting with another Zombie. "Percy, help!" Mezashi said. I charged to the zombie and the zombie turn its head 90 degrees and looked at me and showed its horrible mouth. I got my gun and I put a bullet straight through his mouth and just to finish him I threw my knife right his eye and he fell back. Maya exclaimed "Thanks Percy..". Mezashi said "Thanks for the help..." "No problem" I responded. Suddenly, all electric appliances went back on the and I then turned on the T.V and changed the channel to the news channel and saw "Special Report, We have been informed of this strange zombie events. We advise all to go outside with caution and gather stuff to protect your home, your loved ones, and yourself. The police is gonna send guards in every street to protect the people. And we also have been informed that this event is happening over the nation. More information about this will come in soon on 7 News." She grinned at me "Told you it was zombies" "Whatever, but...We can't live here safely with zombies." I said. "Well Percy...we can make an escape plan to go to a different country or something..." Mezashi responded. "And escape plan? I like it" Maya said. "We might need some extra people though..." I told her. Maya went to her house phone and tried to call her friends but first she called Amy, another neighbor. "Hey Amy, Can you come with us to escape.?" "Really your gonna escape?" Amy replied "Yes with Percy and Mezashi and some other people that we are gonna gather.." "Okay I'm in" "Just gather stuff to defend yourself too" "Okay gonna come to join you guys in about half an hour." And so starts up the the quest to escape the nation...

Chapter II: Plan: Get the Hell Out of Here, Commence


PERCY


30 minutes later, Amy arrived and she brought a M16 and a Beretta M9. "You sure came prepared." I said. "I'm trying to escape with a bunch of zombies in our way, I think I need this." "Meh...might as well go the gun shop, Maya and Mezashi you wanna come?" "Sure, I need some weapons." Mezashi said. "Me too." Maya replied. "Guard the house Amy untill we come back." "Sure." So we all got into my car with Maya at shotgun seat and Mezashi at the backseat and we drove to the gun shop. Once we went there I open the front door and a man raised his shotgun at me. "You guys got bitten yet?" "No" we all said in unison. He lowered his shotgun and asked "What you guys need?" "You got an ACR and a Desert Eagle?" "200 bucks" I gave him the money and he gave me the guns. "I need a SPAS-12 please" Mezashi said. "150 bucks" Mezashi looked at me. "You got 20 bucks?" "Ugh..." I gave him the 20 dollars and he bought the SPAS-12. Maya said "Give me a M4A1 with a USP 45" "120 bucks" She gave him the money and he gave her the guns and as soon as we walked out I saw a zombie next our car. I grabbed my Desert Eagle and BOOM! I shot the zombie point blank in the forehead and he fell. "You should've got the V8" Mezashi and Maya laughed. We drove back and I saw Amy drinking coffee when I opened the door. "It's about time you guys showed up" I saw a few other people in the house. "Who are those people?" I asked. "Oh I brought some other friends, Amber,Bruce,and Ayami" "Hey" they all said at once. "Hi" I replied. "Mezashi, you still got your R.V?" "Yeah..." "Well can you tune it up a bit? You know, make it faster and build armor on it cause we are gonna use that as our transportation" "That's gonna take a few days" "I know, we'll prepare by then" "Road trip!" Maya exclaimed. I laughed a little. Suddenly, I heard screaming from outside and I saw a girl with a boy who probably was his younger brother. Then I looked to the right an I saw a 3 zombies chasing them and one of them, didn't have a arm. "I got this.." Maya said. She aimed her USP. 45 at the zombies and shot 2 of them with it at the head in a instant and used her M4A1 to shoot down the last one. "Whoa..." I said. The girl and her brother looked happy and thanked us. "Hi, my name is Melissa Kingman, and this is my younger brother, Dante" "Hey" Dante said. "Can you both use a gun?" Maya said. I said "Wait Maya, we just can't-" "Can't what?" "We are going to escape the nation to live in a better place untill the zombies situation is done." Maya said. "Can I join you guys?" "Sure, but what about your brother?" "Don't worry, he'll come too." I wondered, if we're gonna have even more people. "So you two start preparing because we are gonna start leaving in a few days" "I'll be there" "I'll be there too" Dante said.


Few days later, Mezashi was done tuning up the R.V. I came, and it was pretty damn good. It had extra armor made of metal, and we brought food and water in it. It also had a flame pattern and it also had a T.V in it. The rims also had spikes on it. "Nice..." I said. Then, Maya and Amy came in. "Damn, you did a lot of work onto this." Maya said. "Thanks" Mezashi replied. Soon the rest of the people came. Ayami had a AA-12 and Bruce had a AK-47 and Amber brought a M16. Melissa had a MP5 and Dante had dual Mini Uzis. "I guess we're ready" I said. We all entered the R.V and Mezashi started the engine. Mezashi said "And so our journey awaits, we will leave and say goodbye to our friends, our loved ones, we will-" "Shut up and drive" Maya said. We all laughed. Mezashi drove along the road and like he said, our journey awaits...


Chapter III: (No Name Yet)


MAYA



As we were driving, I asked "Mezashi, how did you even put all this armor and other stuff on here?" "I'm a professional engineer, my teacher told me I had a way with tools" "Oh, sounds cool" Then we saw three guys walking up ahead, and they were all armed. They looked at us and pointed their guns at us. "Get the hell out of here, I don't want you exposing us, we will use force" I grabbed my M4A1 and Mezashi said "Nah, I got this" He pressed a button and suddenly two mini machine guns came out of the R.V on each side. The guys all backed up slowly. But then, one threw a grenade and exploded but it didn't cause any affect with the amor on the R.V. "Shit.." One of them said. One of the guys ran like a little girl and that left us two. "Get out the way" Mezashi said. They just shot at us and Mezashi shot his machine guns at two of them, but he didn't kill them. "Why did you spare them?" Percy asked. "I'm not wasting my ammo on these three, might as well just spare them" Mezashi drove up ahead and I asked Melissa "So, what's your specialty?" "I'm a medic, so if one of you guys get injured I'll treat you guys" "Sounds nice" Percy said. "I'm a pyro" "So you burn things on fire?" Dante asked. "Pretty much" I then saw a guy with his arm wounded and he looked like he didn't eat in days. "Hey! Can you guys help me please? My name is James" He sounded like he was British. "Should we trust him?" Mezashi asked. "I don't know...let me see" Percy said and he opened the door and came outside with his Desert Eagle in his hand. He raised his gun at him. "Did you get bitten?" "No" Percy checked him of any weapons. "Your clean, you can come with us" "Thanks" When he came into the van I saw his shirt and it read "EU and Proud". "Your a European?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm Scottish but was born in England" I tossed my USP 45. at him. "You can use this, once we find a gun that suits you." "Ok" And then zombies came from out of nowhere and we all grabbed our weapons and opened the doors. Bruce came out with his AK-47 and shot down some of the zombies. Dante grabbed his dual Mini Uzis and shot it like he was used to seeing zombies and killing them. Percy came out but I pushed with my hand and I said "I think I got this" I grabbed my M4A1 and shot zombies like a pro. 2,4,6,8 zombies killed. But then, more zombies came. "Your attracting more zombies" Mezashi said. "We need silencers..." Percy grabbed two Molotov and threw them at both sides we're the zombies were and the zombies were engulfed in the flames. We all came back in and I said "Drive before more come" Mezashi stepped on the gas and we were going fast out of there, but we weren't in luck as we saw something that surprised us...

We saw cops there, and they had armored cars blocking the road. One of them said with their megaphone "Go back and surrender or we will use force" "Or else?" Mezashi asked? "Or else we will make you do it by force" I grabbed my M4A1 and ran quickly outside and Mezashi shot his turrets at the cops and I helped him. One police came out of nowhere from the trees and shot a bullet at me and just when I closed my eyes and thought I was gonna die....Percy was standing in front of me, with his arm injured. "Percy!" I yelled. He fell on the ground and I thought he had died. I was filled with rage and thought this was my fault and shot the the police who had shot him. Mezashi shot the rest of them and it was clear. I knelt down on the ground next to Percy and then Melissa came with her Medical Kit and he leaned against Percy's heart and said "He's still alive, but unconscious" She treated his arm and grabbed him and put him in one of the beds that was in the R.V. Mezashi asked "He's gonna be okay right?" "Yes, he will" "He was an idiot for trying to do that anyway..." Dante said. I ignored him and thought that this was still my fault. "He's gonna be alright" Bruce said to me. "I hope he is..." And Mezashi drove to the road on the right and continued ahead...

Chapter IV:(No Name Yet)

MAYA


As we were driving, Melissa said "Hey, my the hospital I work in is nearby us, I think I can try to make a cure there. "Alright, I'll stop there" Mezashi replied. We drove up ahead and saw a huge building with huge letters that read "Kingman's Hospital". "You own this?" I asked "Yep, it's a pretty cool job" She responded. We parked nearby and we all came outside and I asked "What about Percy?" "Don't worry, I'll carry him" Mezashi said and he grabbed Percy and put him on top of his shoulder. We came inside the building and I saw it was deserted. "Where is everybody?" I asked. "I don't know, let's just go to my lab" Melissa said. We followed Melissa up the stairs onto Floor 3 and we found someone behind the door with a zombie in front of them. She opened the door and ran past by us and she didn't appear to even notice us. Ayami grabbed her AA-12 and shot the zombie and James assisted her and grabbed his USP. 45 and shot the zombie in the head. They high fived each other. "I'm going to take a sample of this zombie" Melissa said and she grabbed something like a tweezers and got a little skin of the zombie. She also got a needle and took a blood sample too. We continued walking until we found her lab and she entered some code and I heard a voice that said "Welcome, Melissa" and the door opened and we saw some really high-tech stuff in there. There was a computer, but it looked like it was a holographic. There was a digital picture of the human body. There was also a tablet device which had the initials MK Inc. There was a lot of stuff to describe. Melissa took a microscope and examined the samples and Dante asked "Want me to help?" "No, I can do it by myself, but thanks anyway" Dante walked away and leaned against the wall. We waited, and waited, and waited... I was sure 30 minutes passed by already. She then stopped and said "I can make a cure, but I need one ingredient, which is approximately 5 thru 6 miles from here" Mezashi said "Ok, we'll stop by there too" Then I heard an explosion coming from outside. I looked out of the window and saw a S.W.A.T team trying to destroy our ride. "Quick, get outside!" I exclaimed and we rushed out of the room and down the stairs and outside. Melissa grabbed her MP5 and yelled "Get out of my property!" They just looked at us and held their guns ready. "Well, you leave me no choice" She grabbed a remote and pointed at the enemy's weapons and pressed a button on there. And, nothing happened. They laughed and pointed their guns at Melissa and pulled the trigger and as soon I thought she was dead meat, their weapons didn't seem to work. "What the?!" One of them exclaimed. They tried to shoot again but it didn't work this time either. "I deactivated your guns with my remote, and now your defenseless" Melissa said to them. "Wow, that's pretty cool" Dante said. Melissa pointed her MP5 at them "Now, why are you chasing us?" "We don't want you escaping, you might spread the virus to other countries and making it a worldwide situation" "But we don't have the virus" Mezashi said. "We can't trust you anyway" the guy said. "Well, done interrogating you guys" Melissa said and she knocked down each person with her MP5. "Alright, let's go" she said. Mezashi put Percy in the bed again and we drove ahead but we weren't driving smoothly as we did. I then notice that our tire was out of air and that must've been what the S.W.A.T team did to the R.V. "Damn it, I think there's a garage shop near us, I'll stop by and fix it there" Mezashi said.

When we was in the garage shop, it was almost nighttime. Bruce yawned. "I'm tired.." "I guess we can wait here and sleep till its morning, but someone has to be on guard duty and then we'll move to a different person for a guard and so on" Mezashi said. "Might as well go first" I said. They all went inside and I stayed outside, with a flashlight in my hand and my M4A1 and I watched for about an hour and then Amber came "It's my turn, you can go sleep" "Finally..." I came inside the R.V and grabbed a sleeping bag that I packed went inside and dozed off peacefully...

Inspired Characters:
Percy:Thunder
Mezashi:Mez
Maya:Maya (She doesn't come on here anymore o.o)
Amy:Lady Medusa
Bruce:Ciel (Mr.I can't keep a name for a day)
Amber: Amber/Ellise
Ayami: Ayami
Melissa Kingman:Lady Nayoka
Dante:Lord Dante
James:Minato Namikaze
More people soon to come...


Last edited by Thunder0 on Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:49 pm; edited 5 times in total
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So many problems...

Post  Lord Deidara on Tue Sep 25, 2012 6:23 pm

I am a professional critic as we all know and... There are so fucking many shit wrong with this story...AGAIN.


1. You still haven't changed the "Intruder" section .-.
One cannot knock on the front door of someone's house and get's called an intruder...

2. Your escape plan was abducted from Nayoka's story. You "claim" you had it first... When you didn't, first posted in her story, she had it first, your a thief. '-'

3a. In an issue to the guns... Where the fuck and how the fuck did Amy get a gun?..
b. Your all just teenagers, less than 18, you cannot buy the gun at that age... You can't buy a gun unless ur 21...
c. Teenagers cannot have such large amount of money somewhere around their house or conveniently in their pockets.

4. Where did you get the car from? Hmm Einstein?

5. One cannot simply.. "Tune up a car" by giving it armors and shit and take " a few days"...Especially teenagers. And cannot hook up a "TV" either in such a short time with such a lack of electrician knowledge.

6. You said... And I quote, "The wheel also had spikes in it" You mean, the 'rims' had spikes in it. Which brings me back to point 5.

7. One does not set out from zombies to go to another country, a "journey"

8. Lastly... You copied Nayo's Inspired Characters list... That man... Was not cool.... That was her personal feature for her story, bich take it off o.o

The End... o.o

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Re: Zombie Rp Story Redo o.o..

Post  Thunder on Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:14 pm

I dont want to start an argument again but w/e

Who said we were teenagers? o.o I mean...I didn't even say our ages yet, I could be a 21 year old if i wanted to '-'

Also I did use the escape plan first...but I'm not talking about this im talking about the original one i wrote and i did an escape plan and then she wrote her story and also used an escape plan...

I also wonder why you don't take a review of ur sis's story...

Just wait till I put more chapters and ur gonna see this "journey"

The T.V was already with the R.V when he got it..

I guess I can like buy my own car?, I mean for me I could get a car at 16 which I'm older than that in the story o.o

Meh...Imma put one of the characters asking how mez did the R.V and say that he has a way with tools and a engineer~ o.o

Where the fck did Nayoka get a gun in her story? Yeah, idk either and she's not 21 in it too...

Meh, really dont care about the intruder part, just bare with it its a story written by an 11 year old. And anyway who cares about if i did an inspired character list? o.o
dont feel like erasing it '-'

Yeah anyway lets not start an argument about this like i said, trying to avoid arguments and uh, yeah... '-'
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uGH...

Post  Lord Deidara on Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:50 pm

1. TAKE OFF THE INSPIRED LIST SHEET!!
2. I like how you made some corrections of what I told you.
3. I could seriously choke you right now for not even paying attention to my oher points & for being so illogical in your story... Its not worth reading... AT ALL!!...
4. I'm not continuing further, I wish to avoid an argument
Story Review: 3/10

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Re: Zombie Rp Story Redo o.o..

Post  P!nk on Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:01 pm

You still continued this? Very Happy, I stopped after Chapter 1 O.O
I like the story though, especially since how Im a badass Medic/Scientist ^^
Screw Dante's critique, keep at it! Very Happy

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"One question… Madara. Do you understand why we betrayed you? Because you are darkness, a world without light where flowers can only wither and die!"
"Yahiko and Nagato's will hasn't vanished from this world! I believe in Naruto too! He… He will become the bridge that leads us to peace and I will be a support holding the bridge up!"
-Konan
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Re: Zombie Rp Story Redo o.o..

Post  Thunder on Thu Dec 06, 2012 7:22 pm

P!nk wrote:You still continued this? Very Happy, I stopped after Chapter 1 O.O
I like the story though, especially since how Im a badass Medic/Scientist ^^
Screw Dante's critique, keep at it! Very Happy
I stopped writing this story a while ago o.o
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Re: Zombie Rp Story Redo o.o..

Post  P!nk on Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:05 pm

No I meant after you did Chap 1

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"One question… Madara. Do you understand why we betrayed you? Because you are darkness, a world without light where flowers can only wither and die!"
"Yahiko and Nagato's will hasn't vanished from this world! I believe in Naruto too! He… He will become the bridge that leads us to peace and I will be a support holding the bridge up!"
-Konan
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